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Finding Hope in Christ After Brokenness

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What happens when you've placed your hope in all the wrong things and they've left you empty? Yvonne Santiago's powerful testimony traces her journey from a fatherless childhood to divorce at 27, career upheavals, and finally discovering authentic hope in Christ.

Growing up Catholic in Nebraska after immigrating from Germany, Yvonne knew about God but lacked a personal relationship with Jesus. This distinction would prove crucial as she navigated single parenthood with three young children, feeling marked by what she called a "scarlet letter" of rejection. Like Solomon in Ecclesiastes, she chased fulfillment through career advancement in horse racing, eventually securing management positions with impressive salaries. Yet emotional emptiness persisted beneath her busy schedule of work, school, and parenting.

When job loss forced her to move back with her parents—a humbling experience for someone in her thirties—God began redirecting her path. A career change led her to Delaware, where meeting her current husband introduced her to the concept of a personal relationship with Jesus. Reading the Bible systematically for the first time, Yvonne discovered freedom from the constant worry and fear that had characterized much of her life.

Most remarkable is how this newfound hope transformed her approach to marriage and parenting. Having grown up without a father figure and experienced divorce, she had no biblical model for relationships. Through books, prayer, and Scripture, she learned principles that revolutionized her marriage and parenting style. Thirty years later, all her children love and serve the Lord, and her grandchildren are growing up without the brokenness that characterized her own childhood.

Whether you're struggling with relationships, career setbacks, or simply feeling that your life lacks purpose, Yvonne's testimony reminds us that authentic hope comes only through daily relationship with Christ. Her powerful statement, "I've regretted many decisions in my life, but I've never regretted obeying the Lord," stands as a challenge to all of us seeking lasting fulfillment.

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Intro music by Joey Blair

SPEAKER_00:

What's up, Life Talk family? Welcome back to the Life Talk Podcast. This is Nate coming to you today with a very special guest. I have with me Yvonne Santiago. Yvonne, how's it going today?

SPEAKER_01:

Good. Thank you. Thank you for having me on.

SPEAKER_00:

Yvonne is a very busy lady, so we are lucky to have her here and appreciate you taking the time for us. And uh, so for the Life Talk family, if you know we are working through the month of October right now, our faithfully different theme for the month is we hope. Our hope is in Jesus Christ. Really changes our complete perspective when we have hope of salvation, hope of uh just in an eternity of restoration, so much that comes with great hope in the gospel that we know the world needs. And I think Yvonne has just some amazing testimony. I know lifestyle family, you'll be blessed by it. And so, Yvonne, maybe just lead in as we always do, just share a little bit about yourself growing up, your background, um, you know, just kind of a little bit about Yvonne and what we need to know.

SPEAKER_01:

Okay. Well, um I was um born in Germany and moved here at eight weeks old. And for some reason, my parents, my mom, decided to move to Nebraska, and that's where we landed. So um I had a nice Midwestern upbringing, raised in the Catholic Church. I went to Catholic school, but uh one thing I didn't realize in growing up was that I didn't have a relationship with Jesus. I knew God, and God was talked about a lot in our house, and uh we knew how to um live in a way that pleased the God that we knew. And um so just going through life, I got married and had three children, and I was 25 by the time I was done having children, and by the age of 27, I found myself getting divorced, and it really, really rocked my world. I don't think I've had anything that difficult that I've gone through in my life uh as that time. And um I relied, of course, on you know, my upbringing, and I would sought counsel with a priest, and I feel like the Lord was really there for me, but once again, I didn't have a relationship with him.

SPEAKER_00:

So you kind of shared too, you know, your mom immigrated to the United States very young, so have some German background, and then I think you shared, you know, you grew up kind of your dad abandoned your family early on in life. And so so, like you already kind of fast forward, so having gone through divorce, you know, how how do you feel, you know, especially growing up without a father in Nebraska? You know, did it feel odd being from near Germany and you know, any of those kind of things? How do you feel that kind of in your upbringing, you know, really affected you?

SPEAKER_01:

Well, I don't know if it's the protection of the Lord, uh, but I didn't really struggle too much. Um, I know that my sister did. My sister said that people made comments and made fun of her. Uh, but I can tell you, I grew up in a community that I was the only one that didn't have a father. And but I really did not think it was a problem. I never gave it much thought because um it wasn't talked about in our home. So I just never thought about it. I didn't realize the effects that it would later have on me and and my choices in life. And so yeah, I didn't really honestly think about it at all.

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

It's definitely interesting dynamics. And I was just curious, and I know you'll talk a little bit more about that, I think, as you move along. So, so you're in your mid-twenties, you know, you've kind of been divorced and and obviously in in a really tough spot. So, kind of where did things go from there? You know, for you, you've got this Catholic background, so you kind of know about God, but you know, so there's awareness there, but how did that kind of play out for you from there?

SPEAKER_01:

So I feel like when I got divorced, um I started be uh just seeking, I guess, what the world sought. So how am I gonna be successful and have children? And I already felt like I wore a scarlet letter because um I just already branded myself kind of rejected, single. And so I thought, well, I'll work really hard because I had really good work ethic from my mom. My mom was a really uh hard worker, she had accomplished a lot coming from Germany and not knowing the language. Um, she really did well for herself and built her own little business in custom draperies, and so I had really good work ethic. So I just, you know, put my focus on being successful. And so I worked in thoroughbred horse racing from the time I was 18 until um at age 30, then I was going into management and I had a really good paying job. So I thought that would really make me feel happy and really make my life set, but it didn't because I still had the emotional baggage and um it really was starting to mount up. Like I could, I could feel it then, the discontent in my life, like knowing there was something else there, but I didn't really, I was so busy. I was going to school, I was working full-time, and I was raising children. So I just probably was more like a ticking time bomb than anything.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, and I know before we kind of jumped on the mics, you talk about like the wisdom of Solomon and you know Ecclesiastes for our long time. Listeners know that's one of my favorite books of the Bible. Sounds like kind of you were chasing a lot of those things, chasing significance, career. You know, you I think you shared, you know, you were searching in marriage, maybe that'll fix so we're looking for a lot of things that'll fix some emptiness. Is that a fair way to say?

SPEAKER_01:

Or yes. Yeah, I I would definitely say that I was looking for things to make me feel good. So it was very circumstantial.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. Seeking hope, like hoping that if I get married or I find a job, like that's where we place hope a lot of times, and it is very misplaced when we're hoping, and then it ultimately leaves us empty. You know, we end up finding a lot of emptiness as that kind of characterizes. So, yeah, how did, you know, as you're kind of working through all of that, you know, where you like you said, we we always look back, we see where God's working. I know in my testimony before I knew the Lord, I see what God was doing to put me in that position. So maybe and kind of share how God was working in your life and and moving you towards faith there.

SPEAKER_01:

So I guess in my early 30s, maybe around 31, I came upon probably the second biggest obstacle in my life that was life-changing next to my divorce. And I was working and I had a really great job. I was making really great money, living in a nice house. I was in Wisconsin, and I lost my job. And so I packed up my children and I moved back to my parents' house, which was really humbling at that age, and started researching and thought, well, I need to find a new job. I can't just keep doing uh what I'm doing and lose a job again. I just didn't know how secure that was going to be for me. So I went to the library, I researched and I found the occupation of court reporting. It was what I could go to school for, took the least amount of time for the most amount of money, which was what I was going for. And so I decided I'm going to court reporting school. I'm changing my career. And I started researching how I could stay working in horse racing and go to school. And Delaware is one place that really worked out because my boss knew the general manager out here, and there was court reporting schools in Philadelphia. So I packed up my kids and I moved to the East Coast and just knew that I had to get a new career, I could make more money and you know, afford my children to have everything they needed. So I packed up the kids. They were five, six, and eight, and we moved to the east coast and uh with the intention of leaving Delaware in three years and moving back probably to Colorado, which is my dream place. So that's where I was gonna move, and that didn't happen.

SPEAKER_00:

So viewing it as a temporary stop, ironically. My wife and I viewed that same way in Delaware, and God has crazy plans. So clearly he did, and bringing you here to Delaware.

SPEAKER_01:

Yep, yep. And so from there I went, I started going to school and I was working and trying to raise my children. I'm sure I didn't do any of it too well because I was really busy. But um I met uh my current husband at at one point. I did graduate from court reporting school. It was very, very hard and miserable time because a lot of tears shed. It's very difficult. And I made it through school, and three years later I met what would be my husband, and he started talking to me about you know, the Bible and listening to Christian music and and a relationship with Jesus. And I liked him and he was very uh kind. And so I would entertain his talking about God and the Bible and and a relationship, even though I had no idea what he meant. So um I started uh he started searching for churches because I was going to a Catholic church here and I just was not happy. I told him I I know there's something more, I just don't know what that is. And so he started looking for a church, and he would go every week and tell me, no, that's not it. And so I started looking for a church. I thought, well, I can look. And so I started looking at non-denominational churches. I was really felt very guilty because once you're Catholic, you know, you don't look outside of a Catholic church. And so um I found a church and we went for the first Sunday, and I just really was moved by it. I went back the following week and I gave my life to the Lord, and that's when I realized really how hopeless my life was.

SPEAKER_00:

So maybe talk a little bit more. You'd been hearing, you know, and again, I know we talk about denominations and and we could get way into that, but we want to talk more about hope. But yeah, again, you've been hearing a lot of like you gotta do these things, or you know, it's all this how did that really you God open your eyes to hope and that message of coming to salvation?

SPEAKER_01:

Well, I think just sitting under the word and hearing the word, which I'd never heard the Bible explained, I didn't understand it, but also was challenged to read the Bible. Uh, our pastor would do the year in the Bible, and so you know, being a little legalistic, I was like, okay, well, I can do that, I can do tasks. So I started reading the Bible and um just really started noticing a change in my life. I mean, I remember desiring what God had for me, but had no clue what that was. So I spent a lot of time, you know, just begging God to change me, even though I really didn't know what I needed, but he did. And he just was, I felt like that was a period of my life. He was just wooing me, like showing me that you know, he could speak to my heart in ways I'd never experienced before. Speaking to me, I felt like I would go to church and the sermons would be tailor-written for me, just just really started opening my eyes to what the kind of love that I had always longed for. He he just came in and just really turned my life upside down.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, I know we were talking, it's just when we see God's word and the love he has for us, and like you say, it's not task-oriented, it's not works-based. So when we just learn the level of that love, it completely changes and and gives us hope. So I think it sounds like, yeah, and I know you shared, God really turned things upside down. So maybe you can kind of how that hope changed your life, how it kind of started to really change you. Like you said, you're starting to seek, uh, you've already got kids who are getting older, you know, on a second relationship, but how did God's hope really work in your life from from that point?

SPEAKER_01:

Well, the things that I didn't know that I worried about, like I didn't, I'd never heard, you know, not to worry to cast my cares to the Lord. And so I started realizing like how many worries I had. I started hearing things about um taking captive my thoughts and just things that I should be thinking on versus what I really was thinking on. So I started kind of like journaling in my head um the di my different thoughts in a day. And it started to feel like I was a little crazy because my thoughts were continual, they were worrisome, they were um just wrought with fear. And um, I started realizing, you know, most of my life I probably lived in fear um because I just didn't have you know the parental care that I needed from a father. My mother was, you know, a wonderful mother, but she had to work. And uh so I hope for my children. Um I realized once I got saved that they didn't know the Lord. And so of course I was very burdened by that and felt a little hopeless. But every time those thoughts of hopelessness would come up, I would feel this encouragement and peace from the Lord as I would talk to him about it, which was amazing to me. I'd never felt that before. I'd never been able to just cast my cares and then feel like, oh, this is gonna be okay. And just really have the Lord speaking to me about, you know, through the word, just what my hope was. And as far as being having wisdom, as far as making decisions, as far as tithing and giving, giving of myself, giving of my time, uh, what my walk should look like, um, walking in the spirit versus the flesh. And I walked in the flesh. So I was noticing so many things, and everything just gave me hope. I felt just free and loved for the first time in my life.

SPEAKER_00:

Amen. Yeah, it's an awesome feeling, like you say. And I know we've journeyed this year, you hit on a lot of stuff, you know, the the prayer, God's word, believing the Bible, like you said, the giving and investing. Like when we live that out, you know, we're not expecting anything, but we just have hope that God's gonna work in great ways, a lot of times even more than we can imagine. So, so again, how did hope kind of like your expectations versus I know you kind of sure being burdened for your children and the importance of praying for them? So kind of being hopeful in those, how did you kind of see that work out and and God moving you forward to through that time in your life and and just working out in those times?

SPEAKER_01:

Well, I I really felt like it was such a gift then to start to train up my children in his ways. And um I I remember a time when I was worshiping in church and my children were in the front row, and they were used to just being in church and standing there, stand, sit, kneel, and no participation really. And I remember a woman looking at me because I was singing in the choir now. Like I did everything I could to engage myself in in anything in the church. And um, I remember a woman looking at me that was standing next to me, and she didn't realize they were my children, and they were right in the front row, and she looked at me and she said, Boy, you can tell those kids aren't saved. And my heart just immediately sunk and I felt so sad. But it was just like in that instant, I just felt God just giving me a comfort that He's got them. It wasn't up to me. My job was to train them up, and so I really just partnered with the Lord in prayer to be a father to my children, to be a husband to me and to teach me how to parent them. Like I looked to him and I don't know how it happened, quite honestly. I I just feel like everywhere I turned, he was making my path straight. Now, I'm not gonna say it was easy because I struggled emotionally overcoming a lot of patterns and um of behavior, of conflict resolution, of even just being loving instead of being angry in disciplining my children. I I just was so used to like if I just got to be angry at them and then they'll obey. And God was teaching me, no, you need to learn to speak from your heart and love like I love you. And his grace and his forgiveness in my life, I carried a lot of burdens when I got saved. And just the fact that I could give them all to him and be forgiven really changed my perspective on how to parent, how to be in a relationship. And I just watched the Lord like work in their lives, he turned our whole world upside down. And in that, he started, I saw my children being just signs of hope in them that I'd never seen before. Like he was just literally transforming our family in front of our eye in front of my eyes. And I just I couldn't help but just feel so deeply grateful and in love. And like I just wanted to please him, and I just feel like that's been my hope that I know that everything that I do that pleases the Lord is just such a blessing to me because he just pours out his goodness in all of it. And so he taught me so many things about marriage. I didn't know what marriage looked like. I knew what it looked like from a worldly perspective, but I didn't know what it looked like from God's eyes. And so teaching me that because my husband and I got married and I had a lot to learn, and um just the hope that I had that I could actually have functional, peaceful, God-glorifying relationships, um, my work, you know, it just really changed everything in our lives. And I I know I shared with you that I really was burdened for my children, and I um just wanted to see the Lord save my children. So I would just ask him, just save them. Like I know they're not gonna be anything great, you know. They're they're just they're not gonna be well, and when I say great, I don't mean like super Christian, super Christian evangelists, pastors, preachers, leaders in the church. I I just wanted them saved. And when I look back now, it's been almost 30 years. Um, and my children are all loving and serving the Lord, and my grandchildren have a totally different life. They don't know the brokenness that I came from, the divorce, the just the brokenness that um plagued, you know, my family. And and so I just yeah, it's just been the most amazing, beautiful life since I've come to know the Lord.

SPEAKER_00:

But I think something you said too that reminds me when we hope your hope for your children was in the Lord. And too often parents' hope is, well, I hope they get a great job, or I hope they get into a great college, or I hope they're happy in marriage. And it misses the point that if their hope is not in the Lord, you can hope for all these other things, but they'll never make you happy. And I think circling back to like you said, you chased all those things, so you kind of already knew those were empty. So your hope for your children was in the Lord. And when that's our hope, seek first the kingdom of God. All the other things get added to us, so you're just seeing that outworking of the hope when it's starts in the right place, you know. So, like you said, you're seeing all of that in your kids, your grandkids, like such a beautiful story. And then those blessings just follow rather than they being the priority, I think.

SPEAKER_01:

Yes, absolutely. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

So maybe you can even talk, you know, I know you shared like a real heart for marriage and growing up without a father, so not seeing that in the home and and having dealt with divorce, you know, how was that a challenge? And you know, I know you have a passion for marriage ministry and things like that. How is maybe briefly speak to husbands and wives, you know, how we kind of view uh so I think you hit on for parents, maybe how in relationships we see hope as well.

SPEAKER_01:

Well, when I realized after I got saved that I had no idea in any role that I was in, how to live that way for the Lord, one of them was marriage for sure. And I just remember going to the Lord and saying, I first of all, I need you to teach me to love you. Because if I can't love you, how could I possibly love anyone else in my life properly? And so I just started reading books. And of course, um, I laugh about it now, but I remember thinking when I got saved, it was so much easier when I didn't think I was the problem and that everyone else was the problem. And God was showing me like it wasn't about that, it was about my love for him. And if I love him, I'll obey him. And his ways are good and right and just and perfect. And so I started seeking out, thinking I was doing, you know, this for my marriage, but I looked for every book that I felt would validate how I felt. Is there a moose in your marriage? How to act right when your spouse acts wrong, help me, I'm married. Those were all the titles of the books that I read. But every time I'd go to those books, it was more the Lord speaking to me as a wife and what that looked like to honor him, which was totally different than I looked for my husband to meet my needs. And God wanted me to be in covenant with him in my marriage and to respect my husband and do things that were Slavic, foreign, nothing that I really understood. Um I grew up in the world of hey, if you want me to respect you, then you gotta earn it because I'm not just gonna respect you if you don't deserve it. And God showed me something different. He really opened my eyes to the fact that that is a need that my husband has, and slowly started to break down those uh walls that I had built up. Um I felt that if I respected him, that I would be a doormat and that he would just it would always be his way and I'd never get my way. And I was really afraid of some of the things that the Lord was asking me to do. But because I had tasted and seen of his goodness, I trusted him. So just applying those principles really helped me see marriage in a whole different way. And I've been passionate about it ever since. I love uh one of my favorite teachings is love and respect. And I've led a lot of women through that. And I love to see God reveal like his word and his truth to women who've never heard what I'd never heard, that a man needs respect, just like I need love. And so um, that's been such a blessing, and it's given me hope in my marriage because when my husband and I went through problems and trials and tribulation, which we did because we both were divorced and we both had children and we came together as a blended family, and it was hard. Um, I now had hope because I wasn't being led by me, my feelings. I was being led by the Lord, which I knew was good. I've regretted a lot of things, a lot of decisions I've made in my life. I've never regretted obeying the Lord because his ways are good and right, and they just are a blessing.

SPEAKER_00:

Amen. Well, and you used a good word there, trust, and our hope flows to a trust. You know, we're we're trusting the Lord that he's good, and that gives us hope. And I think just talking through marriage, we know we could do a whole other episode on marriage, right? Like uh use some great things there, but I think divorce happens when you have no hope, right? Like you've lost, like I'm never gonna be happy. There's no hope in this marriage, so I gotta leave it. There's always hope when we obey the Lord. So whether it's parenting, like you shared, or in marriage, we can find hope in Christ. And when we're obedient and let God work, you know, because we, you know, we we want to take the reins and do it ourselves, but that's really a hopeless endeavor. But trusting Him, obeying Him, finding those ways, I think it's a really beautiful way to go about that. So as we kind of come to a close, any, you know, just seeing God's hope in your life, any encouragement for our listeners and um just sharing them how to keep that hope, you know. And I know you're a business owner, we didn't even delve a whole lot into that, but uh, how can people really live out that hope and expressing it to others and their families and and living in light of that?

SPEAKER_01:

Well, I go back to uh when I first got saved and the concept of having a relationship with Jesus. Um I think that is that's the key to walking with the Lord because He just changes your desires. So when you give your life to the Lord and you start walking a relationship, what does that mean? It means reading the word every day, it means praying, it means casting your cares, it means just meditating on his goodness day and night. And it just means thinking about the scriptures that that you do know and just starting somewhere. I used to I I started with trust in the Lord with all your heart, not on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge him, and he'll make straight your path. And I used to say that to myself every day. So hope is found in Jesus. And so walking with him day in and day out and developing a relationship with him is time, and it's just spending time with the Lord every minute that you possibly can. Like that's my favorite. I get up in the morning and it's Jesus and coffee. That's what I want. And so I it it's it's sanctification, it's walking with the Lord and drawing near to him and he draws near to you. And I say it's the one relationship in my life that sometimes I've prayed and I've asked the Lord, like, oh, I just desire, you know, for this my husband to want to spend time with me, or I desire, you know, things. And the Lord is always so quick to show me that's what He desires. He desires me. And we desire things. He desires us. And so that desire. So the Lord desires us. And I think just like meditating on that and actually allowing God to love you is just a part of the process of coming to know Him, being in relationship with Him and just walking with Him daily. So if if I were to encourage anyone, I would say you have to be doing those things. You have to you have to be in the Word. You can't know someone without you can't know God without knowing His Word because He is the Word and praying and just casting your cares. He does the work. It's really not we just have to be obedient. Like He does the work in us. And um it's also such a relief to know like I didn't have to fix my kids. I just had to be obedient. I didn't have to fix my marriage. I just had to be obedient. Um I didn't have to, you know, fix my finances. I just had to be obedient to what the Word uh told me to do. He has all of the answers. So that I'd say that's how we walk with the Lord and that's how we have hope. Like there is no hope outside of Jesus.

SPEAKER_00:

It's living in that hope daily. You know, like you say, it's when we drift away, is when it's easy to lose hope because we've fallen away. But if we're in the word, you can't read God's word without having hope for the future. You can't read the word without having hope for your relationships and what God is doing. And really the the hopefulness is in God's promises, you know, like, and that's where I think, like you said, we're praying and we know He's promised to do these things, and that's where our hope is, because you know, and we could get into the apologetic, you know, if this is all just big accident and there's no God, there is no hope. There absolutely is not. So for those who believe that, you know, we hope if you're listening to this and you don't have that relationship we've we've talked about, you know, we'd love to talk to you. Come to Lifehouse. But uh, Yvonne, just thank you for terrible sharing your testimony. I know we could go on for a long time, and and for those who don't know, uh Yvonne started very thriving business. God's worked in an amazing way. She does a lot of things here at Lifehouse. So just a brief sniffet, but hopefully uh you're encouraged, even despite wherever you are. Like Yvonne shared divorce, fatherlessness, uh moving all around, losing jobs, whatever it is, like the hope is in Christ. So there is hope for you at the cross if you haven't found Christ. And if you do know Christ, live in that hope. Like we're told not to grieve like others who have no hope. We have hope. So uh, Yvonne, thanks so much for spending some time with us today. We appreciate you coming on, and we'll see you next time.

SPEAKER_01:

Thank you so much.

SPEAKER_00:

Thanks for tuning in to the Life Talk Podcast. If this episode encouraged you, please be sure to like, comment, subscribe, and leave a review so others can find this content as well. And we'll look forward to seeing you next Monday for another great episode.

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Jarvis Brennan

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