LifeTalk Podcast
LifeTalk is the official podcast of LifeHouse Church MOT. Our heart for this podcast is to help our church grow and to go deeper here at LifeHouse. We’ll be interviewing staff members & hearing their testimonies. We’ll be discussing various topics such as parenting, marriage, day-to-day functions of the ministry and so much more from a biblical perspective. Our goal is to help equip our church to glorify JESUS in every area of life.
LifeTalk Podcast
Healing After Divorce Through Faith And Community
When life bottoms out, the next move can feel impossible. We sit down with Bill Beaton to trace the path from an empty apartment and a lost job to quiet, durable hope built through faith, counseling, and community. Bill’s story starts with a blended childhood, a sincere but uneven walk with God, and the slow drift of college freedom. Marriage brought new pressures, a relocation amplified the cracks, and infidelity detonated what was already fragile. The turning point wasn’t dramatic; it was a choice to sit in the back of a church, tell the truth in counseling, and show up for a divorce recovery class that gave language, skills, and a circle of people who understood.
As Bill kept showing up, something shifted. He found himself asked to lead a men’s group, then a home group, not because he felt ready but because he was willing. That season forged habits—Scripture, prayer, accountability, and honest self-examination—that raised his capacity to face stress without sinking. The divorce process stayed civil, co-parenting settled into a workable rhythm, and over time Bill remarried. Step-parenting tested patience and unity, but healing practices turned into a new family story, culminating in adopting his stepdaughter as an adult. Today, Bill and his wife serve others through Divorce Care, guiding people through anger, loneliness, forgiveness, finances, and practical next steps that actually move the heart forward.
If you’re navigating separation, divorce, or the disorienting aftermath, you’ll hear candid insights on blended families, owning your part without self-blame, and training your thoughts to resist shame and bitterness. Most of all, you’ll hear how community, counseling, and a steady walk with God can turn pain into purpose. Subscribe, share this with someone who needs hope, and leave a review to help others find these conversations. Then tell one person you trust what you need today—we’re here to walk with you.
New episodes every Monday
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Intro music by Joey Blair
What's up, Life Talk family? Welcome back to the Life Talk Podcast. We are coming to you today, as always, with a very special guest and uh journeying through October. But today I'm joined by Bill Beaton. Bill, how are you doing today?
SPEAKER_01:I am doing well, thank you. Glad to be here.
SPEAKER_02:Awesome. Well, if you were not glad, I'd be a little worried and maybe we picked the wrong guest. But so I appreciate you humoring us, though. But it's good to have you. Uh, Bill is a very strong leader here, man, a talented guy, a musician, helps on our praise team. And as you hear his story, he's really someone God's worked in his life in a lot of ways. And again, leading some things here, we'll touch on it. He and his wife Sue are very faithful servants here at Lifehouse and lead our divorce care ministry, which we'll talk a little bit about. But uh certainly in October, we are really telling stories of hope that as we kicked off with Jarvis early in the month, and we've heard from Yvonne and Kyle and Page, just stories of how God can work in the midst of our suffering, in the midst of our pain. We are never in a place that uh God can really not bring us around. So Bill has a great story. I'm looking forward to just hearing more about it. And so, as we always do, Bill, maybe just start off, help us uh get to know you a little better, just you know, share how life started off and and where where you're from and and how you grew up.
SPEAKER_01:Okay, thank you very much. I have been here at Lifehouse since um September of 2021.
SPEAKER_00:Okay.
SPEAKER_01:And we became partners in 2022 after being here for about a year. And uh during that time uh we started to serve in in children's ministry. We've been doing that for as long as we've been married, which is now 28 years. And uh I I can't I have will occasionally play guitar in uh the worship band. And uh I'm also involved in something called divorce care, which is part of what we'll talk about today. Uh I am originally from Massachusetts. Massachusetts, all right. That's right. I do not have a Massachusetts accent.
SPEAKER_02:So I don't even know what the state motto is or anything, or I'd throw it out there.
SPEAKER_01:But you know, I I don't remember what it is, but I I do remember the slang.
SPEAKER_02:Uh I just uh I get the Boston, you know, no. Not from Boston, though, right?
SPEAKER_01:Wicked Pissa. I I was I grew up 30 miles south of Boston, near Plymouth. Okay. And if you go to Plymouth Rock, don't go for the don't go to Plymouth for the Rock because it's it's going to be a disappointment. But uh I grew up there in a series of Baptist churches, which was unusual for that region then, and actually now, but even then even more so because it it there were some people who didn't go to church at all, and then you had uh a fairly strong Roman Catholic uh population, particularly in my town. Uh so I was odd in that way. I was also odd in that uh I had a blended family. My parents had divorced when I was nine and both immediately remarried. So I grew up in a blended household with my mom and stepdad, and then I ended up moving um to New Jersey to live with my father as he had moved out there to New Jersey uh when I was about 20. Now I grew up in in Baptist churches, went to youth group, went to Sunday school, attended church, uh, but I always had one eye on the world. And now when I was saved, God saved me and saved you and saves everybody so that in following him, we can be the best versions of ourselves. And I really didn't do that. I know that I became a Christian when I was about 10, but I also know that I was not wholeheartedly following God.
SPEAKER_02:Sometimes those blended families, I know we were talking before, we come out of that. Discipleship can be a difficult thing.
SPEAKER_01:It could have had an impact, yes. You know, they didn't have any manuals, books, or anything that would be available today back then. And my mom and stepdad did the very best they could. They had anywhere from five to seven kids in the household at any one time. Uh by the time I graduated high school, um, there were seven kids, six of which were teenagers. Uh that is a lot for any parents. And and they did a great job without a lot of information. I ended up going to a secular school, University in Massachusetts, good school.
SPEAKER_02:Went back to Massachusetts.
SPEAKER_01:I was still in Massachusetts, had not come to New Jersey yet. I spent a couple years and I moved into uh a dormitory that didn't have really bad influences. It had an environment that I could have done what I wanted. If I wanted to follow Christ, it would have been fine to be there. If I didn't, then I didn't have to, and there were options available, and I took the the latter. I I really cared about those options, and I I wanted to see what I was missing, and I got into some bad habits. Um I started to not like myself as a person over that time. And every once in a while, God would do something to remind me that he was still there. So I had decided after a couple years I was going to transfer to a Christian school, Gordon College, but I never made it there. I ended up going to live with uh for the summer with my dad and my stepmom in New Jersey. Um and I lived in New Jersey for most of the next 30 years.
SPEAKER_02:And and uh so did you leave school or went back to finish the degree, or how did that kind of play out?
SPEAKER_01:Uh-huh. That was the five and a half year plan. I I took a year off, and then I I applied to Rutgers University, which is actually the state school in New Jersey. Uh, didn't get into the part that I wanted, so I went to the uh the local county college, which was quite good. I changed my major to sciences, and I went there for a couple of years. Then I went to Rutgers, got a biology degree that I ended up not using, but I did value the the sciences and and and the critical thinking that I learned there. Um and I I did not go back to Massachusetts. I stayed with my dad, my stepmom, my uh sister, who I'm I was 16 years older than, and I and my brother came, my younger brother came a couple years after me, and and together we sort of um spent a lot of time with her because even though I was around a lot of Christians at this point, it was a seismic shift. And I was following Christ. Um, it turned out my dad and my my stepmom were both alcoholics, and so I'm finishing school, working part-time with my brother. We're both uh picking up or dropping off our sister and uh shielding her from what was going on in the household. We were kind of acting like a firewall, and uh that was stressful, much more stressful than I'd been through before. But God put me there for a reason, and I think it was a good reason. So I I'm glad I went through it. Uh I'm glad we were able to be there for Becky, my sister, who sadly she did pass away earlier this year, uh unexpectedly. And uh after college, I I kind of wandered career-wise. Um spiritually, I was up and down. I started dating somebody, met somebody in church, um, and we hit it off, and uh we dated, we broke up for a while, which happens, then we dated some more, and we got married, and that was uh 1988. Okay. And it should have worked. She's a Christian, I'm a Christian, we're both following Christ. Uh, but we weren't following wholeheartedly. And I knew by this point that husbands the head of the household, but uh in in an important way, we we we set that tone spiritually, sure. And I didn't do it. But we both contributed to the problems that were in our marriage. We we had a daughter um who was born in 1990, and uh our problems continued to be there, but then I got transferred down to Virginia and they got worse. And uh we were there for a couple of years, we came back to New Jersey, and uh it was then that I found out that uh she'd been having an affair. And and because of the problems that we had, I'd say more than the affair, uh, we ended up um getting divorced. I I I don't think that an affair is a reason to necessarily get divorced, although it can be, because I I believe in repentance, I believe in reconciliation.
SPEAKER_02:Sure.
SPEAKER_01:Forgiveness, and so but in our case, we couldn't figure out we couldn't agree on what the problems were.
SPEAKER_02:The so you would say the affair was kind of a symptom more than the cause. Is that fair to say?
SPEAKER_01:Uh that was fair to say, yeah. It it it was sort of the bomb that went off at the end of the relationship.
SPEAKER_02:A lot of times it's just an outworking of sometimes those problems that I think you've been kind of mentioning.
SPEAKER_01:And and I even felt a little funny about it because it's a situation that that it makes her look like the bad guy. I guess in some ways, I suppose, but really I I knew what the truth was. And uh I will say in January of 1996, I came home to an empty apartment. She'd gone back to Virginia and she had taken our daughter and there was nothing much in the apartment, which didn't bother me because at that point I knew we weren't gonna stay married, and and I told her you could take what you wanted. I just didn't think she'd do it, and I'd come home to an empty apartment. But there we were. So I had to call my family, actually call her family. They didn't know. And it was difficult, it was weird. Um and I was struggling spiritually at that point. I'd been struggling spiritually those last couple of years. I was not doing well. And I sat there and I thought, you know, I I'd better do something about this. I'd better do it soon because I don't want God to do something to get my attention. God loves me, I know that. But he's also a God that could do something to get my attention if he didn't have it already, and I think he did. Um I'd made a couple of decisions that were helpful here. One was I got counseling, and another was that later in that year there was a divorce recovery class. It was called uh Fresh Start, and uh it they may have those now, and I'm I'm sure it's fine. We use divorce care, which I also like, but it turned out to help me because it got me in with some people who are also Christians who were dealing with some of the uh situations that I was doing of going through, and it was uh really, really helpful.
SPEAKER_02:I think, like you say, those are times you can lean into the Lord and and the hope, you know, like we're talking about this month for sure. There's hope in those circumstances. So you're divorced, you're spiritually struggling, you could have totally walked away, you know, and and ran from the Lord, or you could lean in and be, I think, like you're saying, in the community that comes from why God puts us through those things.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, well, I didn't feel the hope right yet. I just knew that I had to do something. I knew I had to do something, and um, it turned out to be more than I had anticipated because in March of that year I lost my job. It was eliminated as a result of a restructuring. So I had uh actually I had career counseling, which I took, and I found a support group for people who were looking for a job because I figured, well, that that's that was helpful for me with um the um divorce recovery class, may as well try it here too. So I got help, and uh it was good because I started to see progress in my own life. I also started to go to church. I mean, I I started to go to church before I started at divorce recovery class, which because it was in my church, but I I started by just going to church and getting into the back and saying, okay, you know what, God, I'm just gonna come here, I'm gonna sit, I'm gonna leave right after, and I'd leave right after. But after a while I get to know people and uh bit by bit I started to establish a circle of friends and I started to be um uh a regular attender and I started to get involved in some things uh like uh they there was an early promise keepers trip and I ended up going to that and it turned out to be uh really, really helpful. And and after that, they they say, okay, we're gonna have a bunch of men's Bible studies based on this, and I was part of a group. I I volunte I I I signed up, and then my group was together meeting, and we're deciding, and I said, Okay, guys, who's gonna lead it? Because I didn't think I was gonna lead it. And they said, No, you're gonna lead it. I'm gonna lead it. Okay, and that lasted for about five years. Um, I I got a job in May of that year, so God was faithful there. Uh and and and I started to see hope. I started to see hope in my life because I was starting to make good decisions. Initially, I wasn't making good decisions. You know, if you're I've heard it said uh most recently, but Dr. Lee Warren, he's a neurosurgeon, but he's quoting somebody else, is that um you you don't rate rise to the occasion, you sink to them to the level of your preparation. And and maybe that exists um with um and in diff different forms with different people.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, spiritually, yeah, you're gonna sink to your level a lot of times of your spiritual discipline.
SPEAKER_01:And yes, and so preparing for those. And and then and here, spiritually, yes. Uh, I was not prepared for the bottom to drop out the way that it suddenly did. And I needed to make changes in my life, and uh those changes started to happen here. The real pivot in my spiritual walk was was taking place in 1996. And uh towards the end of the year, um, we even had a a home group that sort of organically started, and and the people involved wanted me to be the leader. So I went and found the the pastor who was responsible for it at my church and said, Hey, can we have another uh family group? And they said, Sure. Uh, who's gonna lead it? Oh, me. So that was two groups I was leading. I was like, well, I will I didn't ask for either of these things, but yeah, I was doing it.
SPEAKER_02:I think maybe an important point there too. A lot of people feel like because of circumstances or sin or whatever, that they can't, and you know, certainly a lot to be said, but what matters with leading and in faith is you're seeking the Lord, you know, you're you're at that point, you you know, and you're running after him, I would surmise from everything you're saying, and yep, take others with you, you know, a lot of times, like let's go be imitators of Christ.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. And and also in 1996, I wasn't divorced yet. So I was actually working through that process. And how this all helped me there was that I didn't say or do anything that I regret today. Uh, we got through that process, um, we came to some agreements, and uh we were never back in court, which was um I never took her back, she never took me. And she actually is a fully devoted follower of Christ today and has been for many years. And we're on pretty good terms. We haven't always agreed agreed because that happens sometimes uh with children, but uh we were never back in court. And uh here we are today. But uh during that time I was also uh in the divorce recovery class learning things that helped me, helped me to heal from um the hurt, helped me to understand myself better, helped me to make better decisions in the future. Um if I was ever to remarry, uh, it would be a means by which I wasn't bringing baggage from the old relationship into the new one. Maybe just uh a carry-on and a backpack or something. Um, or if I was going to remain a single person, that then I would be able to um live um a full life. And um whether I was single or I was married, I wanted to be a fully devoted follower of Christ, I wanted to be healed, and I wanted to have a day-by-day walk with Christ. And I wanted that to be the pattern for the rest of my life. I I didn't expect to meet my wife in the fall of 1996. Um turned out she's the sister of a friend I attended college with, and her family, well, they all attended that church. So I met her and and we talked, and then I talked to her sister, and then I talked to her. Um and uh in September of uh 1997, I asked her out on a date and she said yes. And we got married in September of that year, and I ended up with another blended family. Now, even though my my daughter, uh Amber, was down in Virginia, um she had a daughter, Christine, from her first marriage. Now she was also divorced, she had been through um an abusive marriage and had gone through some of the same steps that I did. She went through counseling, she went through the same type of class that I did. She just did it a couple of years earlier. And one reason that she dated me is because she'd seen that I'd done the things that she had done to try to um move on and to heal and to um not carry things into the future. So we got married in September of that year, and we've been uh happily married ever since. You know, we've had um occasional issues like any married couple has, but we've worked through them. And uh we've welcomed Tabitha, who's 24, and and um Christine was not happy about me marrying her mom. So she was angry at me or acted as if she was angry at me for um about a decade afterwards.
SPEAKER_02:But um being a stepparent's not easy, right?
SPEAKER_01:It takes some It's not easy. I and the things that I had gone through and the experience I had with being in a blended family really did help. Um I understood how Sue wanted to raise her. I made a decision to be supportive of that because I agreed with what she was doing and she was right. And um, Christine is actually my daughter now. When she was 26, I I adopted her. Although sometimes I feel like she adopted me. And she is um just a wonderful person, lives a half mile away from us. She has a daughter, Riley, who's a joy, and is in our house um almost any weekday because Sue had retired and is taking care of her. So that was a big plus in my life that I could do that.
SPEAKER_02:So really seeing, you know, you were at that point, divorced, job loss, and but you leaned in, you got the help, you were in the community running after the Lord, and just seeing how God used all those circumstances. We know Romans 8.28, God will use those for good. So the experiences, even in I know we were talking before, you know, I have some similar circumstances and coming from a divorced home and a blended family, and it was my stepfather who made a big difference in my life, even though that took time. But you were then able to meet Sue, you guys learning from that, healing from that, and what God can do, you know, making beauty from the ashes for both of you all coming from that divorce and now the beautiful marriage you all have, and the walk you've had with the Lord. Is there anything, you know, I know it's kind of a long time, but anything you would share that really was clarifying, or you know, that opportunity to be, you know, a dad to Christine, any of those other ways that God really just used those circumstances and and that hope that comes during those times.
SPEAKER_01:Well, I I think the first steps that I took were the ones that helped me bring the most hope into my life. And that was that I was re-establishing the spiritual walk that God wanted to have with me. That I was committed to that, a day-by-day spiritual walk. And I was committed to being honest with myself, being honest with the mistakes that I made, not focusing in my first marriage of what my ex did to me, but rather taking responsibility for what I did, seeing how I could change. Right and having a a balanced understanding of what happened. And and you know in the Bible how um Paul wrote in in one of the epistles about you know we hold hold every thought captive. Sure. And so I've been working on more and more not entertaining the kind of thoughts that are negative, certainly not the ones that are sinful, but the ones that are negative or sometimes the self-talk or the thoughts that come into my head, um, I would reject. Um but uh it was those steps that helped me with hope in my life. And it's what I want to do now, it's why we do divorce care now.
SPEAKER_02:Right. So maybe talk about that, how we can you know, share with people, you know, what you're doing with divorce care, how people I think you touched on some good things there in terms of getting back into your spiritual walk, looking, analyzing your thoughts, confessing your own part. You know, a lot of times we end up in suffering. We had a part in it. Our sinfulness plays into that again, you know, through our you know, conversations. I know my my wife and I, we are have not had a perfect marriage, and a lot of times we have to confess our parts is really by God's grace that we haven't been divorced, but God uses those for different circumstances. Maybe kind of talk about you know the divorce care process, you know, people going through those similar kind of things because it can feel hopeless, can it not?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, it can. Um divorce care is a 13-session course, and it has video in it that uh we'll see and we can talk about, but then is available for people to look at again if they want to. So those uh video resources are available and it takes us through um loneliness and anger and forgiveness, and a lot of these issues and and practical things like um taking care of ourselves during this time and also um the financial impact of things that we're going through. People who come into it, they're in different places. Some people are in are just at the beginning of the divorce process, others have been divorced for two or three years. But if you don't do the things that will bring uh uh healing and and and and resolution in our lives, then that those wounds can still remain. I dear I remember when I was um separated, I I got into a conversation with a woman who's a little older than me, uh, and she was talking about her divorce because we were both talking about our situations, and suddenly she became very emotional, like it just happened recently, and only to come and find out that it was six years prior. And that taught me something, it taught me about the need to be able to deal with things and not let them sit. This class helps that. Now, a lot of the people are also in counseling, which is great, but the class really does fit in as something that helps that. And I do believe that the um just about everybody who takes this class is more hopeful at the end of it than when they started, and they're in a better position to move forward in their lives uh at the end of it than when when they started.
SPEAKER_02:Amen. So it's this great ministry you guys have going, and and I know we could go on and on with our testimony, but any kind of maybe closing thoughts as we we wrap up, just wherever you are, there is hope. And I think your story, again, appreciate you being being open with us, being willing to come on. Uh, but any other thoughts for those who might be listening, maybe they're haven't made that step, you know, that can be the hardest thing deciding to come or or to really get that help, or even like you share, just to come to church and be part of community.
SPEAKER_01:It can feel weird, but just let people know that you need the help. And and people in our church will guide you to the right place. And that's your starting point. Just trust God and um let somebody know that you need help. And we're here for you.
SPEAKER_02:That's right. Don't isolate and be bold, be have courage to admit that hey, I need help. You know, I'm searching for that hope. I know Christ is my only hope, but he makes us to walk together in community, and that's what brings us to restoration, I would say. Well, Bill, thanks so much for taking some time with us today. Uh, Life Talk Family. Hope you're encouraged, you know, through this month, bringing you stories like Bill's that uh just show the difference that Christ makes in our life. And if that's a place you are, we definitely want to walk with you. I know Bill would love to walk with you. Like you said, reach out to us. Uh, we have lots of ways we can. Help you pray with you and just get you back to that place that God wants you to be to use your story. So, Life Talk family, thanks so much, and we'll see you next time. Thanks for tuning in to the Life Talk Podcast. If this episode encouraged you, please be sure to like, comment, subscribe, and leave a review so others can find this content as well. And we'll look forward to seeing you next Monday for another great episode.
