Elder; Cody Hall

What if the turning point of your life arrived the moment you finally ran out of ways to cope? That’s where Cody’s story begins to change—at the end of self-reliance and the start of grace. We walk through a childhood marked by divorce and distance, the learned art of compartmentalizing pain, and the slow magnetism of church that didn’t fully land until years later. The drift into rebellion felt inevitable; the way out did not. Then came an unexpected school pivot, a steady love in Brittany, and the painful realization that even good gifts can become idols when asked to do what only God can.

The conversation opens up on addiction, relapse, and the quiet questions that make or break transformation. Cody shares how Scripture and sermons moved from background noise to a lifeline, and how the daily fight against sin shifted once he asked, “Is Christ not enough?” We talk through the humility of waiting for calling instead of chasing titles, the joy and risk of serving youth and young adults, and the power of a local church that looks you in the eye, knows your name, and invites you into real community.

We also go where many avoid: miscarriages, the loneliness of grief, and carrying a son with anencephaly to term. You’ll hear about costly faith that chooses presence over convenience, two radiant hours with a child who changed everything, and a church that showed up with letters, meals, and a love that felt like oxygen. It’s a tender, unhurried look at suffering that refines, marriage that matures, and leadership that grows out of repentance, not performance.

If this story gives you courage, share it with someone who needs hope. Subscribe for more conversations like this, leave a review to help others find the show, and tell us: where do you need a second chance right now?

New episodes every Monday
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Join us Sundays at 9 & 11 AM

Intro music by Joey Blair

Chapters

• 0:13 Welcome And Series Context
• 1:16 Cody’s Early Years And Family Split
• 4:25 Moving, Father Absence, And Insecurity
• 6:52 First Church Impressions And Restlessness
• 9:58 Forced Church, Hard Hearts, And Drift
• 12:16 Descent Into Rebellion And “Latchkey” Life
• 15:42 Charter School Pivot That Changed Trajectory
• 18:16 Meeting Brittany And Leaving Old Idols
• 21:44 Breakup, Anger, And Hitting Bottom
• 23:59 A Sudden Awakening To The Gospel
• 27:34 Fighting Sin And Learning Dependence
• 32:23 Providence At The Mall: Reuniting With Brittany
• 35:08 Marriage, Rightly Ordered Loves
• 36:21 Serving Youth And A Call To Shepherd
• 39:13 Church Transitions And Finding Home
• 43:03 Building Young Adult Ministry
• 47:16 Miscarriages, Grief, And Deeper Trust
• 54:03 Carrying A Son With Anencephaly
• 58:56 Honoring God In Suffering
• 1:02:44 Community Care And Enduring Hope

Transcript

SPEAKER_01: 0:13

What's up, Life Talk family? Welcome back to the Life Talk Podcast. Nate coming to you today with I'd say a special guest, but we got a repeat guest. I have with me today, Cody Hall, Elder here at Lifehouse. Cody, how's it going?

SPEAKER_00: 0:29

That's right. Yeah. It's going well. I'm trying to get my numbers up. I know there's a uh secret competition going on of who's been on the pod the most. So this is number three for me. So hopefully I'm nearing the top of the chart.

SPEAKER_01: 0:41

That's exactly right. You are moving up in the elder uh podcast rankings. So we're getting another one in. Don't say we're not looking out for you.

SPEAKER_00: 0:48

Yeah, I appreciate it.

SPEAKER_01: 0:50

But we'll appreciate you taking some time for us today for the Life Talk family. We have journeyed through the month of November. Uh, we've done a number of weeks on We Work, and Cody even was uh kicking that off for us back the first week in November. So encourage everybody, if you have not listened to that episode, please go back, check it out, hear Cody's Heart for work in our lives was really a great opportunity to hear from you and when you spoke uh in church that Sunday. But today we are here to hear Cody's story for the Life Talk family. Uh, one of our hearts behind the Life Talk podcast is for Lifehouse to Know Life House. If you come here, we want you to feel really in touch and uh just be open as those who lead. And again, Cody serves as an elder here, helps with LYA, young married, uh, wears a lot of hats. Certainly he lives out that we work mentality, but we just want to hear his story. I'm sure it will be very encouraging as many of us here didn't start like we were talking about before we jumped on the podcast. We didn't fall out of the womb as leaders, and God had to do a lot of work in our lives. So absolutely. Our stories are his stories. But yeah, as we always do, Cody, if you want to kick us off, maybe your earliest memories, you know, of of a young, young Cody where where it kind of all started in in the memory banks.

SPEAKER_00: 2:07

Yeah, so a lot of people probably don't know this. Um, but I was actually born in Nebraska, Grand Island, Nebraska. And yeah, love the Huskers. Um, and you know, it it's a smaller town, um, not one of the smallest. There's certainly uh many smaller towns in Nebraska. So I wasn't there for too long. Uh due to the nature of my mom's job, uh, she worked for the racetrack, and that took us all over the place. We moved to Iowa, to Wisconsin, to Minnesota, um, and then back to Nebraska for a time. Um, and so in this time, uh, I was about between one and two, about one and a half, I would say. And um, my parents had split. Uh, they divorced, and it's something that really is kind of a key memory for me. Um, and I think it really the Lord used that memory uh in coming to faith and in sort of redeeming that. Uh it's something that uh a memory that me and my sister share. It's it's an imperfect memory. We learned later there are more details to it, but it was in in our mind, it was the night that my dad left. And I can remember where we were, we were all together in one room, and I just have uh a clear picture of that. They have the same kind of clear, vivid memory of that night. And you know, being one and a half, I know that that's not just because um for no reason, right? There's something about that that imprinted on me, uh, left some scar tissue. Uh and so going from there, uh, when I was about five, my mom was a single mother, and she was, you know, looking for a new way to provide for her three young kids. She just was done with the uh traveling circuit of the racetrack and wanted something more stable for her family. And so uh we stayed in Nebraska for a summer and she came out actually here to Delaware and got established at Delaware Park. And um in the fall, we joined her out here. We were moved out here. Um, and so I began my schooling out here, and you know, again, my dad was far away. He was in Nebraska for a time, he was in Arizona for a time, and we would see him once or twice a year. Uh, but that was difficult uh as a young man growing up and not having your dad around for all those regular things, and I know uh he would have loved to have been there for those things, but you know, due to the brokenness of our situation, his situation, he just wasn't there. And uh so that created, you know, a lot of insecurity in me as a young man. Um, going to events, going to sporting uh uh hobbies and and and not having him there with me and seeing the other young boys with their dads and their dads coaching them, encouraging them. Um, you know, I was a pretty quiet kid. And so I wore it well. I was able to, my I mean, my whole family were just master compartmentalizers, and so I learned that from a young age. And yeah, grew up in a Catholic family. Um, but I wouldn't say uh, at least for my mom and us when we came out here, we attended mass sometimes, but it was it grew uh fewer and far between um in our attendance, and so it wasn't really a part of our lives. And I can remember another core memory of mine. Uh I was seven and one of my friends, I slept over his house, and he asked if I could go to church with them. And I remember going to the church, and again, I wasn't in a a church attending family at that time, and there was something about being there. I just felt like I wanted to stay there forever. I just there was something about the church itself that my heart was just ignited at that moment, but then you know, went back home and uh again, I was quiet. I didn't really tell anyone about that, and so just went back to normal rhythms of life. And it wasn't until I was about 11 years old when my mom began to attend church, and she ended up actually getting saved, believing in the Lord. And I think because of all the things that I had been exposed to growing up in a non-Christian home, um, growing up surrounded by worldliness, and uh, you know, at that age, 11 years old, you really pre-puberty, just beginning to get into uh worldliness. And um it was, I always say it was almost a little too late for me at that point. So I began attending church with her, but the world had its claws into me already. And so for her, though, it was a radical change. The Lord had captivated her and completely transformed her heart, and you know that that burdened her, that she knew that she had been apart from the Lord for so long and she worried that her kids were ruined, and uh, you guys had her on the pod, you got to hear her speak about that, and um, and yet, you know, the Lord was faithful and he comforted her and gave her great promises in his word, and she held fast to those things. She really believed them and she prayed for us constantly. But yeah, that began my sort of rebellious downturn around 11, 12 years old. Uh, and I don't know how much you want to go into that.

SPEAKER_01: 8:15

Yeah, no, I think maybe it'd be interesting too, you know. Of course, you see that change in your mom, but you felt, you know, that's not where you're at. You kind of, because of the brokenness of the home, you know, how did that really play out for you? I'm sure she took you to church, you know, kind of getting in, but just not able to hear, no ears to hear, just too much at that point, or but how did you see kind of God's faithfulness even in in some of those tough times and and what you work through then?

SPEAKER_00: 8:47

Yeah, she she made it a rule that if you were under her roof, you were going to church. And I appreciate that nowadays. Um at the time, of course, I hated it. I despised that she made me go on Wednesdays, made me go on Sundays. Uh and you know, the Lord was so faithful, even in that time, to put men in my life, even though I didn't appreciate them at that time, but men that invested in me, even if a little bit. Um, I think because of my experience, um, I was naturally skeptical of male figures. And so I it was difficult for any of them to really penetrate the walls that I had put up. And but now I can look back and see how I have learned so much from them, even if I didn't learn it at that time. And so I I think during that time, yeah, I was going, but I had no ears to hear. I you see it all the time, right? When we go to church and you just see there are children who are completely disinterested, and and that was me. I was just looking to try and fall asleep when I could in service and wait till I got an elbow in the side or something. And yeah. And so after a few years, I I was able to convince my mom that I didn't need to go anymore, and I stopped going. And um yeah, I just I began to pursue all the things of the world um from a young age. Started sneaking out of the house at eleven and um just getting into uh more and more nonsense and surrounded by a company of fools, I was I sadly I'd say the ringleader of fools. I was, you know, what Romans 1 says, where they not only sin, but they give approval to those that do it. And and that was me for sure. I wanted to drag everyone into my sinful little world. And I don't know, it it was a a sad time. Um like I said during the high school years, you know, especially, or yeah, this was leading up to high school and um so sneaking out before high school and getting out in the neighborhood. Yeah, I mean, my mom was again providing for her for us, and so she was working, she was grinding, she was she had changed careers, she became a court reporter, and she had to work to provide for us, to to get us out of poverty, to get us out of the life that we were stuck in. Um, and you know, praise God for her uh diligence and her hard work. And yeah, I mean she she set a good example in that regard, but it it did my friend endearingly uh called me the latchkey because that's what I was. I was a latchkey kid. I could kind of come and go as I pleased, and you know, I would yeah, started sneaking out, and just um obviously that just leads to trouble when you're a young man with um no real good set of boundaries around you. And um so from there I was descending further and further into my chaos and destruction. And my mom with a stroke of genius decided to again, this just shows the foolishness of adolescence that um she told me that she just wanted to see if I could pass the test to get into uh a charter school here in Wilmington. And I had every intention of going to Dickinson to follow my friends, my group of friends. Um and so because I had her assurances that I wasn't going to have to go there, she just wanted to see how well I would do. I I did my best. And you know, I was not a great student, but I feel like the Lord had had gifted me um with just uh I was naturally science and math gifted. And so I took the test. And if you know anything about Wilmington Charter, it's a math and science school, and so of course I did well and passed, and they accepted me. And then she uh pulled the rug on you.

SPEAKER_01: 13:31

Now you gotta go.

SPEAKER_00: 13:31

Yeah, she pulled the rug on me, she pulled the wool over my eyes, and I, you know, I was 14 years old. What could I say? And so I ended up going there. But that really you said a stroke of genius, though, you know, kind of yeah, and because otherwise you wouldn't have gone, right? I wouldn't have gone, and I would have followed my friends, and I would have been involved in the same nonsense. Um, but it it did uh it changed the course for me. It it brought me to a new standard. You know, there were the same things didn't work that used to work in the public school. And people didn't react to me the way that they used to react in the public school. I wasn't the cool guy who was rebellious and edgy. And no, I was like, why aren't you taking this more seriously? Like, we're all here to to perform well, to do well, and it just it was a totally different environment for me. And it kind of snapped me out of what I had always placed value in, which was you know, power and all the things that culture told us were the things. And so, yeah, going there, um, of course, things changed substantially for me. Um, still pursuing the things of the world, but in 10th grade, I can remember it clear as day, uh, world history class. There's this new girl who shows up and she's from Florida, she just moved back to Delaware, and she caught my eye. And um, yeah, but again, I come from uh not having many good examples of successful relationships, and so um I had relationships throughout the years, middle school, high school, and they all, as you would expect, failed. Uh but then junior year, going into senior year, the same girl, we began hanging out, same group of friends, and um we uh there was just something about her. It was like my heart was just drawn to her. And as you know and many know, that's now my wife, Brittany. Um, but we began dating junior year, going into senior year, and it it radically changed my life then. The Lord really used her to pull me away from all those things that I had been pursuing, and I had found something better. I'd found something that I desired for more than all those things, more than drugs, more than drinking, more than anything else in the world. I wanted Brittany. And I knew that she was a good girl, she was responsible, she she she set that bar high, and I I knew I had to meet the bar. And so I I gave up all that and I pursued after her. Now the danger of that being that she just replaced my old idols and became the new idol. And so, but you know, the Lord is kind and he's faithful, and he used that to begin to reform my heart. And she was a Christian, and so her and my mom got along great. I mean, we really she would come over constantly. Her family uh was uh naturally skeptical of me, um, which is good. Had a reputation kind of deal. Fortunately, they didn't know too much about my reputation. I've since been able to share with Tony, her dad, and her mom, uh what kind of many that was good. Yeah. But yeah, I we dated and graduated together, and she went on to school. I went to school, uh, but we had four years together, and we had plans of being married, and yeah, just going on. I was going to court reporting school, follow in the the steps of my mom, and um Brittany was going to nursing school, and just over those years my brokenness began to uh reveal itself. And I I can look back now and I can see how the Lord was uh exposing me and and showing me my idolatry, showing me my sin. But it really I I was thrown into confusion. I didn't know what I desired for. And so naturally, when uh one is malcontent, discontent, I began to blame everything else but me. And so I began to turn on Britney and say that my problems were her and you're not doing this, you're not this. And so I began to doubt. And I, you know, at that time around around the time I graduated, I really kind of lost contact with my dad. Uh we barely spoke, and so I I can remember telling Britney, like, I don't know, I just I just need some time, I need to figure things out with my dad. I I had been filled with anger um in that time and just growing in that resentment, and it just wasn't healthy, I wasn't in a good place, and um so from there It's always kind of interesting how things start to weave, you know.

SPEAKER_01: 18:56

You kind of say their relationship with your dad affecting your relationship with Brittany, you know, how you're rebellious, you start to see, you know, all these the tapestry coming together. So it sounds like some of that's kind of coming to a head. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 19:11

I'm early 20s, I'm just graduating, and like you said, everything's coming to a head. Uh my mind is swirling with confusion, not knowing what to do, what I'm going to do. Um, and I made the terrible decision to break up with Britney. That seemed like the most natural enemy of my joy at that time, which now I look back and oh how it grieves me that I missed out on that time. Um, but I just I was a fool and I didn't know what to do. And so I broke up with her and quickly realized my mistake. It was, I don't even think, two weeks before I was begging her to get back together.

SPEAKER_03: 19:56

Give me back.

SPEAKER_00: 19:59

And and she, you know, gave it a go for a few days, but there was just something in her. She said, It's just broken. And, you know, it's interesting because in in that time, you know, my mom was obviously deeply invested in us. That was something my mom always did wonderfully was investing in my friends, investing in Britney. And, you know, Brittany had told her that she felt as though I was the one she was supposed to marry. Like she felt it confirmed by the Lord that I was the one she was to marry. And so I can remember the conversation again, one of those core memories where we're in a room and she says, My mom says to Britney, like, what about this? You told me this. And Britney just said, I don't know. I can't explain it, but all I can say is the Lord's telling me not right now. And yeah, that was hard, but it it it was the exact thing according to the Lord's providence and his wisdom that I needed at that time. You know, I always struggled with rejection, and the Lord was using yet again the person that I loved most to wound me with that rejection, but ultimately to lead to that redemption, that uh that one who never will reject me. And so sadly, I wish I could say that I immediately turned to the Lord and began following after him, but losing Brittany, like I said, it exposed all of the dark parts of me. I ran right back to everything that I had turned to before for comfort, for value. So back to drinking, back to drugs, back to going out, all those things. And I continued in that way for a couple years. And it was just a a spiral of destruction. Again, drinking more, drinking more, and I can say that it was really in kind of the lowest point of my life where finally I came to the end of myself, and I can't remember one specific thing, one specific day, uh, but it was just over a period of time where the Lord had been drawing my heart. I could feel God wooing me, drawing me, calling me, and I hadn't been seeking him. Um, I had been in the church for 12 years at that point. I was about 23. I had heard the gospel presented countless times. I don't even know how many times. But there was just a few things that happened. It happened honestly through listening to music and through the Lord allowing me to hear certain sermons by pastors and presenting the truth of the gospel, and all of a sudden I just I had ears to hear. It felt like Damascus Road moment where the Lord opened my eyes, and for the first time I had seen glory, and it was just undeniable. It was something that could only be a work of the Lord. Um and so from that moment, my desires, again, the same way that my desires radically changed when I went from that old lifestyle to Brittany, they radically changed in a more beautiful, eternal way from worldly things to eternal things to godly things, and my heart was just completely enraptured by God. Um I began immediately to just devour the Bible. I couldn't get enough of the word. I couldn't get enough of sermons. I listened to sermons constantly. You know, the Lord used people like Tim Keller, John Piper, uh Vodhi Baccom, all these people to begin to speak wisdom to me, to speak fatherly care and advice to me, to speak godly things to me. And I'm so grateful for that time. Um and yeah, everything radically changed. It really did.

SPEAKER_01: 24:27

I think great example. I'd usually meet us. Sometimes you used exactly what I think of her. You got to get to the end of yourself, yeah, of either chasing worldly things or your own works. You know, it's a Tim Keller thing. Sometimes you got to repent of your righteousness. Yeah. Some people are in that boat, or some people, you know, your case, you know, just at the end of all of the worldly, sinful, you know, chasing all of those things that we'll never fulfill. Right. So it's great, you know, God meets us. And it can be a tough prayer, you know, if you got somebody who isn't saved and it's kind of where you are to pray God bring them to their knees, right? You know, it's where we got to get to of on our knees before the Father. So such a beautiful time. And like you say, sometimes it takes time. You know, what's many people, it's great, but I think even when you do have that kind of moment, you finally give in. There was a lead up to that. You know, for me, I remember very clearly just my story, you can go back and hear it. But yeah, I wrestled, you know, for a couple months. You know, it took a little while for God to really take me down and you know, pin me down to like, all right, Lord, you know, like give in, right? So same thing for you, it sounds like kind of getting to that point and turning your life around.

SPEAKER_00: 25:34

So yeah, and it was really, I just began to take notice that the things that I kept running back to, they never satisfied me. I would they would satisfy me for a moment, a brief moment, is a vapor, right? And and like Solomon says in Ecclesiastes, I denied myself nothing. I pursued after everything in searching for fulfillment, searching for lasting satisfaction, and none of it could deliver. It was all broken wells. I was looking for water in all the wrong places, and so it's like you finally get that first drink and it and it's something like you've never had before. And so yeah, I I I it just changed everything. And so, of course, at this point I'd already broken things with Brittany, but now I I had found my contentment in the Lord. I had no guarantees of a relationship with Brittany. Um I it wasn't even on my radar, to be honest. I had purposely avoided her for years because it just it wounded me, it hurt. Um and so but the Lord in his kindness abundantly more than we could ever ask or see. You had a plan, you know. Had a plan. And you know, it it really truly is crazy to think back to the the orchestration of his divine hand and just providentially bringing about all these things. But you know, I had begun working, I was pursuing.

SPEAKER_01: 27:24

Yeah. So you just kind of have to walk the walk at that point and working through that.

SPEAKER_00: 27:29

Yeah, and and and realizing the the seriousness of putting to death my sin. You know, that was, I would say, the the early chapter of my Christian walk is the seriousness that my sin is breaking everything around me. And it it if for anything to be whole, to be healed, I need to put this to death. And I knew that I couldn't do it in my own strength. Um, and uh thankfully, you know, Romans 8, where it says, if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live. I held fast to that. I I rehearsed that verse in my mind day in and day out because I wanted my sin to be put to death. Um, just seeing the the ugliness of sin, not only in my life, but in my family's life and surrounding me. You know, we come from, like I said, a long line of brokenness. And uh just to see the destruction that sin had wrought in people's lives, I knew how dangerous it could be to me going forward. And I knew that I was my greatest enemy at that moment, and I needed to put it to death, and I needed Christ to live and reign in my heart. And so again, fast forward to um I was about 25 and uh a couple years kind of working through that, changing, putting that process.

SPEAKER_01: 28:52

It's as much as we wanted to be instantaneous, right? I'm sure there were still struggles and some ups and downs along the way.

SPEAKER_00: 29:00

Yeah, and I was somebody who struggled greatly with addiction to uh drugs, addiction to pornography, you know, that began at at a young age. I was nine the first time I was really exposed regularly to pornography, and it didn't stop. It was a a dragon to slay in my life, and it took over 20 years to finally the Lord put it to death for me, you know. Um, and and so that was a battle. And the desire to smoke and drink, I still, even after I got saved, I still there was a part of me that when the occasion was right and I was put in familiar environments, you know, I I sadly would cave because but it was in those moments as I began to return to my vomit, like scriptures say, I realized how much I hated it. I would return to it and I would. Despise myself. And I just had a moment where I was wrestling, and I just asked myself, like, is Christ not enough? Because the way that you're acting, you're acting as if he's not enough. And it became a lot easier to fight from that moment forward because I don't want to believe that lie anymore. I wanted to believe the truth that he is all sufficient.

SPEAKER_01: 30:31

And so God kind of forces you to realize you're not going to do this on your own. You're still weak, and those are the times you really have to obviously repent, you know, same thing, going through idolatry and thoughts and you know similar struggles and yeah, pornography, some stages and work idolatry. It just takes different forms, right? You know, it's all the same. But you get in those situations and you're like, oh yeah, if I don't lean on the Lord, I know what's going to happen. So you just have to continually develop that dependence. Tell me, you know, if that kind of characterizes that for you as well.

SPEAKER_00: 31:06

But yeah. Absolutely. I I I was someone who looked at scripture and looked at you know the life of the most righteous men. You look at the life of David and how he could fall into such grievous sin. And so, you know, I really believed that all sin needs is an opportunity. And so I knew that my little sin, how I would compare myself to others, my little sin, if just given the right opportunity, would go to the utter extreme. And so that really I feared the Lord and I wanted to honor him in everything. And so it, yeah, I'm so grateful for that. The Lord gave me a seriousness about fighting against my sin as being, you know, my primary goal in this life to bring him glory and to put to death my sin and to walk in humility with the Lord. And so that kind of characterized my early walk. Was it just a battle of uh redemption and believing the promises of God, holding fast to the promises of God, and letting the word just kind of wash over me and to renew me and to cleanse me from all my unrighteousness. And and then the Lord in his kindness uh just like I said abundantly blessed me. And one day I was just at Christiana Mall walking through, just expecting to get lunch after a job, and I see Brittany. And it's like 10th grade, uh, or what'd you say, civics all over again? Yeah, world history. World history. It was, it was like that all over again where there's just like I don't know if there was a light shining on her, like Mark's story with Tammy, but that's in my mind, there was that light. And you know, I I went right up to her and began, struck up a conversation, catching up. Hey, how are you? It's so good to see you. Um, she had dated somebody in the interim, and I knew at that point that they had broken up, so I knew she was uh single at the time, and I saw her and I was just like, it it this is divine. This is uh planned by the Lord, this is an appointment. I yeah, I saw it as uh a God ordained work, and so I went up to her and you know, I said, I'm gonna go get my food. Um she was with a friend, and when I went and got my food, I came back, they weren't there. And so, you know, we got our I got my first cell phone with Brittany when we were in high school, and so our numbers were only two numbers off. It was the last two numbers that were different, and it was a 722 number, which is more rare in in Delaware. And so I ended up obviously I still knew her number, so I text her, and yeah, she gave me the who dis and she said, Who is this? And you know, I decided I'll play along. That's fine. And I just said it's Cody, and yeah, so that began us talking again and rekindling um you know the love that we had. And so to go from there, um we just I I knew what I wanted at that point. I I had been blessed with enough godly counsel on you know what marriage is, what it is not. Um, and I knew that I wanted to marry her. And so I began to pursue fast. We got engaged, we got married within a couple years. Um you probably know me now in the LIA ministry. If if I only knew what I knew now, I would have married her the day I saw her. But um, yeah, it's it it was uh such a blessing of the Lord because now I felt as though I could finally rightly appreciate this great gift that I did.

SPEAKER_01: 35:06

Going through what you went through, now you probably appreciate it more than you may have, you knowing what you know now, but might not be the same blessing that it is today. Yeah. How God works those things out where his timing's perfect, so we do truly appreciate it, I would say.

SPEAKER_00: 35:22

Yeah, and recognizing that it was incredibly unfair of me to put so much pressure on her to be my God. Um, and and now, you know, being instructed by the word that that could never be. There's no way that she could fill what only God can fill. And so now I was able to love her more freely, and she was more free to, you know, go forward in life with me. And, you know, we're both sinners in need of grace, being sanctified by the spirit, and I just had this great appreciation for uh God's design of marriage, and I knew I wanted to live that life with Britney. I wanted to love her like Christ had loved me, and I wanted to wash her with the water of the word, and it yeah, so we went forward from there.

SPEAKER_01: 36:19

So now we're married, you know, faith. So talk about maybe kind of coming to Lifehouse, just kind of maybe your church, you know, journey in terms of obviously you're an elder now, which means a lot of things. We can go to Timothy and Titus and what that luck looks like. And I think your story a great example of you know, God redeems to bring us to that. But maybe kind of talk a little bit about how that worked out and how you guys have walked that together and you've kind of seen that work in your life as well.

SPEAKER_00: 36:46

Yeah, so it was kind of around the time that we got together, got married, and I had been serving in the youth at my old church. I had a heart for the youth, you know, being a young man who didn't have much direction, didn't have um a lot of male role models to look to, it became a great desire of mine to try and fill that void and to be present in the lives of the youth and to show them like I love you, I care for you, but beyond me, look through me to see that there's a God who loves you and is caring for you. And um so my old church had kind of struggled to have uh a steady youth pastor. They had gone kind of from one to the next and they had to leave for just their own particular reasons, and so they wanted to implement a new program, and so that gave me an opportunity um as a young 26-year-old, 27, I can't remember how old, to kind of serve the church in a new way. And so I I was not a youth pastor or anything, but I implemented a new uh youth program at the church, and I really loved that experience, you know, getting to walk alongside the pastors and to do ministry in a different kind of way. And um, but you know, in in that process, uh being closer to the pastors and seeing kind of the the workings behind the scenes, and uh I began to realize that like we don't always align on things and our perspective of things, and and there were some really key things to me, some important things. And so in discussing with Brittany and um just discussing with leadership, it just felt like it was the right time for us to move on from there. Um just theological differences and kind of just directional differences of where I believed the church ought to be going and where they desired for it to go.

SPEAKER_01: 39:00

And that's in the Bible too, all the Barnabas split ways. Sometimes God uses those not to punish where it's anything wrong per se, but yeah, moving you guys in a different direction over those kind of things.

SPEAKER_00: 39:14

Yeah, and I was so appreciative. Yeah, I was so appreciative that um, you know, it ended well. You know, I I love my old pastors, and uh we still keep in touch with the associate pastor there every once in a while, and it truly was such a blessing to me and Brittany early in in my walk, in our walk together as a married couple, and and obviously now knowing that the Lord used again that thing the same way he used Paul and Barnabas splitting to you know spread the gospel further, um we see it now as uh you know the Lord bringing us ultimately here and raising us up and uh again just a f another step in taking us from one degree of glory to the next, training us in righteousness. And so we actually began the search for a new church at that time, and we were we actually came here to Lifehouse when it was at EMMS, Everett Meredith. And I remember thinking that the worship was great, and I just felt like the pastor was yelling at me the whole time. And you know, now that's something about Mark that I just so dearly cherish is his passion for the gospel, passion for the church, passion for the people. Um, but you know, I think it was just it was so different from my old uh, I can't remember if he's from Alabama or North Carolina, but just southern, like, yeah, a very different uh vibe. And and so we tried it once, and then we ended up actually going to a church in Wilmington, and we loved it. Um it was uh it was great. Uh they met at uh Ursuline Academy on Sundays, and but we lived in Middletown, and so I think at this point we had Rowan and just as a young family trying to get up to Wilmington on time. It we did it enough times and learned that it wasn't going to happen enough times that we were like it kind of changed my heart. It really gave me a desire to have a local church. I want my church to be near me. Um, and so we sadly, I mean, we were grieved to leave that church because we really loved it. We loved the pastor, we loved the people, but it just felt like we were dishonoring the Lord and the body by not being intimately connected. Uh, because of course to do life together, it's difficult when you're a half hour away. I know in some states that's nothing, but in Delaware, that's a that's like an eternity away.

SPEAKER_01: 42:02

Yep. But hard to be involved outside of Sundays when it's so far, and now you have kids, and so yeah, yeah, we had a similar experience where we were like an hour away. It's like, okay, we could do that on a Sunday, but you're not doing that on a weeknight. Yeah. It just makes it hard. And that's I think God calls us to closer community impact, those kind of things.

SPEAKER_00: 42:21

Yeah. And so uh again, I think the Lord just used that to further grow my love for the local church and it truly being, like you said, local, and where you can do more than just Sundays. Um, because sure, we could do Sundays, and even if we're a few minutes late, but it's really just doing life together with those that are your true family, the family of God. And so, yeah, we ended up in that time. My brother-in-law and my sister ended up coming to Lifehouse. Um, and they were like, listen, you've just got to come back and do it again. And I came that second time, and both me and Brittany just knew. I mean, it just it just felt like home. I know here's a second time with Britney, you know.

SPEAKER_01: 43:09

This needs to be a theme. I'm seeing a theme here in the Cody's office.

SPEAKER_00: 43:13

So again, I'll blame it on my own brokenness. But yeah, there's that theme of uh the second time. And so we came back and we just knew. Uh, I mean, just to hear Mark's heart to just how intentional he was to get to know us. Um, I remember early on I got coffee with him, and you know, that was uh another one of those pivotal moments in my life. I can just remember sitting there with him and just hearing just his heart and uh just how interested he was in me. Again, it was such a beautiful reflection of God's fatherly love and his intentional love. And again, it was something that my own heart had yearned for. Like I wanted that kind of relationship. And so for Mark to really sit with me and to give me his time and to be so accessible, it it healed a lot of things in me. And I remember in that conversation, he just said to me, you know, I see you being a pastor one day. And, you know, my experience previously, in my previous church, I would say that I had that desire. I felt like I'm saved, I love the Lord, I love to serve the church. Why shouldn't I be a pastor? But then going through that experience, I felt like the Lord was kind of telling me, not yet, don't pursue this on your own, according to your own strength, according to your own wisdom, but to wait on the Lord. And and I was content in that. And so I thought, you know, I appreciate that, Mark. I I don't know what the Lord has for me. Um, but if he ever called me, I I would answer the call. Um, and so yeah, that kind of brings us into that transition period where, you know, we got really invested in Lifehouse again, wanting to serve the youth. We we began working at uh LSM and serving alongside some great people and just building those relationships. And from there we began to recognize a need for a something after LSM. You know, so often churches just because they don't have the resources, maybe, or uh they have a different expectation that their young adults are just going to get connected into adult ministries at that point, but we just felt like it would be beneficial to have a a true young adult ministry, something that's kind of that bridge between graduating high school and beginning a family. And so we piloted the young adult ministry here uh alongside the bullers actually first, and then Manny and Nora came along not too long after that, and yeah, they were such a blessing uh to really growing that and and taking that and and running with it. And um obviously now it's a uh a beautiful ministry, thriving ministry here in the church, and so we've been serving in that for we've been at Lifehouse for seven years now, and uh we've been doing that for six of those seven years, and it's been just the most incredible blessing. Um and so yeah, I don't know if I'll kick it back to you at that point.

SPEAKER_01: 46:53

I think that just seeing God work and then through marriage, I know you've a heart for marriage, just laying out your story of God redeeming your relationship, and then yeah, that's a great story just in church, how God moves us into the places and for purposes, you know, having that heart and then getting into young adult ministry. So yeah, I know as we get older too, right? Our stories take so long to tell. Anything else, you know. So obviously we've covered a lot of church, faith, your relationship and marriage, anything else on the family front you'd share just from your story and kind of seeing coming from a blended family, you know, I do as well, but anyways, you know, just in your story that that we talked about, God weaves, you know, some of those things together that you think are important, you know, for the life talk family to know about.

SPEAKER_00: 47:39

Yeah, I something that's really uh something that for Brittany and I uh really grew our faith and our trust and love for the Lord is you know, after we had Rowan, you know, first try, uh, and here comes this beautiful little baby boy. And so we just thought, oh, well, this was great. This was the easiest pregnancy. Um, but then after that, you know, uh, we suffered three miscarriages uh back to back to back after that, and not really given any answers why by the doctors, you know, did all the tests, and um that taught us a lot. Um, it really grew our love for one another, walking in suffering together, and you know, just the the difference of walking through the first one and to the second one, and the way that it really knit me and Britney's hearts together. Um and so, you know, being instructed by again the word and stories like Job, where you know, Job suffers greatly, and um he says, the Lord gives and the Lord is taken away. Blessed be the name of the Lord. And you know, we had that written on the wall in our house for so long just to meditate on that truth. And um we believed it. We knew that the Lord can do all things, and and yet he has invited us into this suffering, and we wanted to honor him in that, and that wasn't always so easy. Uh, you know, I can say that the difference from that first miscarriage and the way that we kind of dealt with it internally. Again, I'm a compartmentalizer, so it's easy for me to just kind of shove my feelings down, but that wasn't being emotionally vulnerable and open and sensitive to what was happening in Britney's own heart. And again, she's someone who is so unbelievably strong. I have witnessed her strength in so many ways in our lives together, and and so she kind of wore that on her own for a little while. And because I was so naive, I guess, um, I just I wouldn't say that I was uh as intimately involved as I should have been in helping to heal that wound. Um but then the Lord in his kindness continued and um sanctifying us, growing us, uh keeping our hearts one. And um I can say that truly going through suffering has brought us closer together. I know it's such a natural temptation, uh, just because of the pride of suffering, to go and uh ex uh exile yourself in a sense.

SPEAKER_01: 50:42

And a lot of times it's they'll either bring you together or they'll split you apart. You know, there's kind of no middle ground where you lean into the Lord together or go your separate ways a lot of times, especially three, like you said, could really put a lot of strain, you know, on a marriage.

SPEAKER_00: 50:59

Yeah, and and what it does is it makes you think like, well, no one knows what I'm going through. No one understands my suffering, and that's really just a prideful expression of grief. Um, and so we definitely struggled with that and um isolated ourselves, but it was through that and just seeing friends, family coming around us, and uh just again sitting with us in grief and just helping to encourage and turn our eyes upon the Lord. Um, you know, it it really gave us such an appreciation for the church. And so, yeah, going forward after that we had uh our other two sons, Canon and Shepard, um, back to back uh 2018 and 2019. And then after that, I'm somebody who always said I wanted a hundred kids. Um I just I just love, I believe the word when it says that children are a blessing and a heritage from the Lord, and like blesses the man whose quivers full of them. And so I was like, Lord, as many as you'll give me, I'll take them. And um, I wanted all the babies. And and then after that, after Shepard, we had two more losses. And, you know, it begins at that point to wear on Brittany, you know, she's been pregnant uh seven times at that point, eight times at that point. And yeah, her body, you know, it ramps up, ready for what it knows what to do, and then yeah, to to to experience loss and then to go through that. It it's uh it takes a toll uh physically, emotionally, and yet I'm just so grateful that spiritually she her trust and love for the Lord is just immovable. And he really had been strengthening us um through these experiences of suffering, strengthening our faith. And I think that in his wisdom, in his foreknowledge, he was preparing us for what was gonna come next, which um we ended up getting pregnant again. And uh we usually had losses early on. Um and this one had gotten past the point of all of our losses, and so that hope rises, and we're so excited, we're so grateful, just knowing what a gift it is. And we ended up going to our anatomy scan, and I can remember again one of those key moments in life. I can picture every detail of the day, and we can sense Britney, of course, being much smarter than I am, can sense it first, but sense that there is something off about the way that the ultrasound tech is responding. Um, you know, she was just quiet to me. But Britney, of course, had picked up on just subtle cues and could tell something was off. And of course, they're not allowed to tell you that something's wrong because they're not doctors and legally they're not allowed. And so, you know, of course, she indicated enough that we needed to follow up with maternal fetal medicine that day. And so I can remember we go home and we know something's off. Um turns out, uh, you know, we go to the appointment later that day, we receive the diagnosis um that our little boy has enencephaly, which if you know anything about it, it's kind of akin to spina bifida, whereas except when the spine doesn't develop as it should, this is kind of the opposite side where the brain doesn't develop as it should. And, you know, of course, in in the medical field, in a secular environment, what's what's the option that's presented to you is to terminate. Don't walk through this. We can just take care of this now. There's no chance that he will live. Um, and you know, those pressures were great upon us. And yet there was just something in our spirit, and we just knew that that is not right, that this was a life given to us by the Lord. And uh, I just am so grateful for Brittany's faith and again her strength, her endurance, perseverance to be able to carry him all the way. And so, yeah, we we delivered him, and um I say we, but she did the hardest. So it's the the guys, right?

SPEAKER_01: 55:59

We we did the uh I watch, you know, yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 56:03

And and you know, we got two beautiful hours with him, and uh we always say it was probably the most difficult day of our lives, but but it was also the most perfect day of our lives, just to see the workings of the Lord in incredibly evident ways, you know, just so many different things. Um that would be a whole hour in itself if I got into that, but just yeah, the kindness of the Lord um was so evident, and just how that changes things, right? Like to experience loss in that kind of way, my heart is deeply burdened for those who lose children. And but, you know, I got to go home that day, and um we actually got to go home that same day, and the next morning to to wake up to my boys. You know, life takes on a different color after something like that, and it just made life together, both with Britney, with my boys, with the church, more vibrant. That God has endured everything for our sake. He endured great loss, suffering, betrayal, loneliness, hunger, sweating to the point of drops of blood coming out, and he did that for the joy that was set before him. And so that whole through that whole process, Brittany and I just continually encouraged one another, supported one another, spoke to one another about how we just wanted to honor the Lord in our suffering. We did not want to sin against him in our suffering. Because we know what he had done for us, and we wanted to honor that rightly. And so just the beauty of seeing the way that the church came around us, and again, just another miracle of God's providence. Um we have good friends who had set up for the church to write us letters for the 30 days leading up to Emma, our son's uh birth, like his due date. And God and his again just great wisdom, they set it up the day before she went into labor. He came 30 days early. And so for every day for 30 days after we got home, we had a letter in a mailbox full of encouragement, full of just scripture, just incredible to see the love of Christ expressed so wonderfully in his people.

SPEAKER_01: 59:14

Amen. And I think yeah, that's how God creates us to walk together in community, and yeah, so thankful for you sharing that. I know that's hard what you guys walk through, but hopefully also encouraging the decision you guys made. I know it was always an encouragement to us that, like you said, the world's telling you to go the other way, to just take the easy route rather than the faithful. Exactly. And I think, like you said, with Job as the great example in all this, Job didn't sin. He continued to trust. The Lord gives, the Lord takes the way, but we'll learn something from this. And I think I remember stories of like the medical staff being, you know, wowed by why would this couple do this? I need to look into this. So if God uses that to help. Other people know our Savior, how amazing that is. And hopefully, as we've recorded this, you know, if you're out there, you've walked through that. I think you said earlier, you know, Satan wants you to think you're the only one.

SPEAKER_03: 1:00:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 1:00:12

Whether it's drugs, addiction, uh, you know, just your brokenness, you know, dealing with that hardship, you know, he wants us isolated, but that's not what we're called to do, but yeah, called to be different. So, well, man, that's uh a lot, you know. And hopefully for the Life Talk family, you get to know our leaders that, you know, again, like we talked about at the lead-in, we are imperfect people. Uh, we're just blessed to serve. And Cody is an elder and leader here. You know, certainly, hopefully, if you see him on Sundays, you know, reach out to him. Hopefully, you're encouraged by his testimony. Um, man, he's one of the smartest guys I know. We talk books all the time, and I'm just like, man, I think this guy's read 10 board ten times more than I have. I gotta catch up. But uh just blessed to hear your story, some of those things that God has redeemed, and I think, like you said, his faithfulness to all generations and throughout our life. You know, I think I was even as you were talking, I was thinking, you know, went through Jonah recently. The word of the Lord came again to Jonah. So, like you said, whether it's Brittany or, you know, those opportunities, you know, through serving and coming back into church in a lot of ways, you know, yeah. God is the God of second chances.

SPEAKER_00: 1:01:20

Yeah, even those little breadcrumbs of faith for me to follow. And yeah, just in closing, like I can say a verse that is deeply impacted me is just in Psalm 22 where the Lord says or David says, from from my mother's womb, you have made me trust you. And I have seen that in my own life. How just from a young age in my rebellious years and everything, there was always this underlying trust in God. And and when I finally get to know him, I I mean, you know, John 17 says, This is eternal life, that they may know you. And and I believe that, and I pray everyone listening would believe that that to know God is eternal life. It is everything that we're searching for. Amen.

SPEAKER_01: 1:02:14

Well, Cody, thanks so much for taking the time for us. Lifehouse Family. Hope you're encouraged. Uh, keep tuning in. We try to share these with you periodically just to encourage you, remind you, whatever you're going through, uh, people have been through it, and God is greater than your circumstances. Amen. Cody, thanks so much, and Life Talk family. We'll see you next time. Thanks for tuning in to the Life Talk Podcast. If this episode encouraged you, please be sure to like, comment, subscribe, and leave a review so others can find this content as well. And we'll look forward to seeing you next Monday for another great episode.